It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Two days off of school. Two hours to Chattanooga. 48 hours of action packed activities. Kids museums. Aquariums. Rock Cities. Mountains. Choo-Choos. Ice Cream. Hotel. Late night snacks.

So why, why did my kids act like were being tortured the entire time? Granted, I did go a little Clark Griswold on them at first. Packed up the Family Truckster with snacks, pillows, blankets. Even let them bring the Itouch for the road. Set out to have the absolute funnest (said in my best kid voice) 48 hours on earth.

We passed cows! “Hey, look at the cows!” We passed waterfalls! “Wow, check out those waterfalls!” We drove through vibrant leaves! “Neat, see those leaves?”

They were more interested in Troy and Gabriella.

We even stopped to check out the local flavor mid-trip.

 

 

We finally arrived. And, guess what? They still didn’t want to do anything. NO.THING.

“Hey, girls! Do you want to go see the city made of rocks?” “Nah.”

“How about the overpriced germ-infested children’s museum? I’m happy to pay $60!” “No.”

“Ice cream?” “Maybe later.”

“So what do you want to do?”

“We want to go home.”

Go home?! Go home?!

“Yeah, we miss our rooms.”

What??? Your rooms that you almost NEVER play in by yourselves? Your rooms that you run in and out of and fight and yell and then I yell because you’re slamming doors? That’s what you’re missing? I’m here in Tennessee offering up museums and candy and adventures and you want to go home???

WE. ARE. NOT. GOING. HOME.

Where did I go wrong?

All I wanted to do was see some leaves. Just a few. Not too many. Maybe stop by a pumpkin patch. Grab some cider. Chattanooga offers so much for young kids. I figured it was a no-brainer.

So I was just a weeee bit frustrated when my passengers weren’t open to my suggestions.

I keep trying. Talked to the locals. Dragged them to some sights.

Then, we randomly came across this:

Wanna know what it is? Okay, I’ll tell you.

A landfill.

A pile of sh*t surrounded by cardboard boxes that you can use to slide down.

We stayed for three hours.

Let me do the math. Tons of awesome museums, attractions and pancake restaurants. OR, a pile of sh*t. And you take the pile of sh*t.

I think I’ll hold off on the summer road trip. And maybe suggest you to the Office of Management and Budget.

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They did throw me a bone and let me get a bag of apples on the way home. Such nice children. Here’s what we made.

No-Measure Apple Crumble

This is so easy and good you could just die.

Ingredients:

• 4-5 crisp red or green apples
• appx. 1/2 cup of brown sugar (not that I’m measuring)
• appx. 1/2 cup dry oatmeal
• appx. 1/4 cup flour
• dash or two of cinnamon
• dash or two of nutmeg
• squirt of lemon juice
• stick of butter (room temp)
• vanilla ice cream

 

 

 

 

Tags: Apple Crisp