One Happy Camper…Old Fashioned S’mores
I recently read an article on the “Top Nine Things You Should Never Say to Your Kid.” I won’t tell you my score. But let’s just say I’m working on my parenting after reading it.
While I’m doing this, might I also suggest someone (preferably an expert) address the kids’ version? Why, I even have a title in case you need one:
“Top Ten Things Your Kid Shouldn’t Say When You Drop Her Off at Super Fun Summer Day Camp”
Let’s hope your kid scores much, much, much, higher than mine.
1. If you leave me here I’ll throw up. (9 am)
2. You must hate me if you’re dropping me here at this gymnastics place. (9:10 am)
3. I’ll never eat again if you leave me here. (9:13 am)
4. Can’t you just call the lady and have the meeting in the lobby of the gym? (9:21 am) – meeting is at 10.
5. I’ll never be annoying to my sister again if you just take me with you. (9:24 am)
6. All I’m going to do is cry so you’re wasting your money. (9:30 am)
7. If you bring me to your meeting I promise I’ll sit quietly in the chair and not ask questions. (9:40 am)
8. Camp is not fun. Camp is the worst place in the entire world. (9:45 am)
9. I’ll give you all the money in my piggy bank if I don’t have to go to camp today or ever. (9:49 am)
10. I can’t believe you are doing this to me. (9:56 am)
And you wonder why I drink? You wonder why I write this blog? These are the reasons. It looks like my ‘camper’ of a child will soon become my summer intern. Maybe I’ll have her file things. Address envelopes. Run errands (to various rooms in house). I could probably even pay her with the money I’d save.
I’m sorry. Did I miss the memo? Isn’t camp supposed to be the greatest place in the entire world? A place where kids can be kids, where there’s no homework, where you can wear what you want and where super cool counselors make lanyards and give you popsicles at 9 am?
I’m so emotionally drained from today that I can’t even think of what to make for dinner. So maybe I’ll just make these:
Because tomorrow’s only day two.
Nutella or melted Chocolate Chips
Flashlight (for storytelling under the covers of your own bed)